October 24th

Shame and vulnerability is the topic of the book I'm reading right now. Some of it really resonates with me.  Bren Brown the author talks a lot about perfectionism as the perception that tasks and achievements will make you feel better about yourself or even loved. So now I am worried that my eldest son, who is 5 may be developing perfectionism which is associated with all kinds of depression and unhappiness. Becoming a mom opened up a whole new world of vulnerability. 

This concept from the book resonated with me. Shadow comfort: a destructive numbing behavior that can take any form it's not what you do but why you do it.

The last thing I want to talk about is girly. I have become hooked on painting my nails, I even want to attempt my own nail art. I have never been a fingernail polish kind of girl. I like my pedicures and almost always have my toes painted but  now I am loving nail color. Exploring different color combinations, textures, base coats, top coats. I joined Julep and so far love the monthly maven box, I get to customize it and have a hard time not spending my entire check at Julep. 

Speaking of shame, here is my dirty little secret... I like Tori Spelling, I've read most of her books watched her reality show and follow her blog. I recently realized she has her nails done in crazy designs , I love her nails she always has great manicures. I'm not super girly, I wear no makeup or heels and my hair is done at best 1 day a week.  So this new found love of nailpolish is uncharastic maybe it's just a shadow comfort? Something to distract me from my life and feelings, perhaps but it's fun and I am constantly working on my character defects so until it becomes a problem my nails will be painted.